Breathing is the flow of the divine,

Where the rhythms of life turn into each other –  

The eternal exchange.

Pour one breath into the other,

Outbreath into the inbreath

Into the outbreath.

Awaken to equanimity,

At peace in the play of opposites.

– #41, The Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche

The Radiance Sutras were introduced to me as part of my Qoya teacher training, and I have felt called to reconnect with their wisdom this week.

Soulful, sensual words to meditate on, which support me to come back to my body, pleasure and the joy of living; and in this sutra reminding me of the beauty in the simple act of breathing.

Breath is a powerful tool and portal to bring ourselves back to the present moment, right where we are and calm our nervous system.

Are you breathing?

It may sound like a silly question, but over the last few years I have realised how much I hold my breath as a response to stress, even minor stresses.

One key memory I have was while I was pregnant and working full-time in a large corporate. I was sitting in a circle with the other senior leaders in my division (a group of mainly white, high-achieving men), as part of a 3-month self-development course that had been funded by the business.

The group facilitator was about to give instructions for the next activity, and I was feeling anxious about what we were going to be asked to do. Was it going to be a partner share, or something with the wider group? Or the dreaded improvisation ? How vulnerable was I going to need to be in front of everyone? Was it going to be embarrassing?

Then the facilitator stopped what he had started to say. He asked us to check-in with our breath, and see what we noticed.

There was a collective exhale, a deep inhale and then laughter as we all realised we had been holding our breath. We were so nervous about what could happen we had stopped a natural flow of breath in and out, and this was likely to be only one minor stressful moment out of many in our work days.

That moment has stayed with me, as I hadn’t really been aware of my breath before, except in practicing meditation as a way to slow down and come to stillness. We all just breathe don’t we?

We do, but often we are breathing shallowly from our chest, breathing too fast, or holding our breath. This often can be due to external stressors and we don’t feel able to fully express our emotions in the moment, so we hold our breath or breath irregularly.

Coming back to our breath is a powerful tool to calm our nervous system, and one of our strongest self-healing mechanisms.

Breathing tools

I am still on the journey to being more present with my breath and developing better breathing technique, but have so much more in my toolkit now, and it has been really supporting me during this time where so many of our normal routines have been thrown up in the air, and there is an underlying fear and anxiety in our community which is hard to get away from.

Three tools and approaches which have supported me, particularly in the last couple of weeks are practicing 3 simple deep breaths in the moment when I am feeling overwhelmed, doing a body scan and breathing into areas of tightness, and the 4-7-8 breath as a way to take a longer moment to reset.

3 deep breaths

The simple act of coming back to your breath and taking three slow deep breaths is so easy and powerful. I have been coming back to this a lot towards the end of the day, after a day of caregiving, where I am craving time alone and my patience is wearing thin. When I feel like I am being stretched, doing some simple deep breaths allows me to take moment to slow down, reassess and reset.

Simply presence your breath, and then take a deep breath through your nose, breathing in allowing your tummy to expand with the breath as the air moves down to your belly, and then a slow deep exhale through your mouth (or nose if that is more comfortable). Continuing your awareness of your breath, repeat the deep breathing at least two more times.

To extend this further, after the three deep breaths, take a deep breath in and breathe out in a big sigh through your mouth. Feeling like you are letting everything out as you do so. It doesn’t have to be super loud or expressive to feel like you are releasing what doesn’t serve you in that moment.

Body scan

We hold so much in our bodies. They reflect how we are feeling and moving through the world. Stress and tension can build up in our bodies and we need to have ways to move it through.  Qoya has been immensely powerful for me to reconnect with my body, how it wants to move, and allowing emotions to be shifted and moved through my body.

Our breath can also help release tension and tightness, and support us in reconnecting with our bodies. After connecting to your breath and taking some deep breaths in and out, scan through your body. When you come across an area of tension, simply breathe into that part of your body. There is no need to judge or create a story behind it, just bringing your awareness there and spaciousness through your breath.  Breathe into the areas of tightness and tension and see if there can be a release, even a little release, as you continue to breathe deeply.

4-7-8 breath

I first heard about Dr Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 breath during my health coaching training. It is a rhythmic way of coming back to your breath and reducing stress, and helps me if needing a longer reset. Using an in-breath, a holding of a breath, and exhaling of breath, to relax.

The instructions below are from Dr Weil’s website, which also has a video available.

1. With your back upright while you learn the rhythm, place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

2. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound

3. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.

4. Hold your breath for a count of seven.

5. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight. This is one breath.

6. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

The absolute time you spend on each phase is not important; what is important is the ratio of the 4:7:8 timing, with exhalation taking twice as long as inhalation.  If you have trouble holding your breath and are not feeling comfortable in anyway, speed the exercise up but keep to the ratio of 4:7:8 for the three phases.

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Accessing the stillness inside

Coming back to my breath, allows me to access a stillness inside, and move forward in a gentler way.

Feeling an exchange of the inner and outer, as the breath transitions through me. Providing time to see a situation in a new light, or simply allow myself to be aware of the emotions running underneath it all, and give them space to be honored.

Honoring my wholeness and the wisdom within my body.