Do you want to feel more in tune with your true essence?

To feel flow and ease in your day?

To create from a place of inspiration that allows your light to shine?

One of the most powerful concepts I have learnt over the last few years is about nurturing my feminine side first, before I move into planning and action (which relies on the more masculine traits I hold within myself). This allows me to feel grounded and connected to who I am, and bring in more trust and receptivity to what I want to do and bring into the world.

We all hold feminine and masculine characteristics within us, and both are needed for us to move through the world, and bring our dreams into reality. But in this world which celebrates productivity, constant action and ‘getting shit done’ we can lose touch with our ability to tune into our more feminine side. It is connecting to the intuitive, grounded, receptive, nurturing, free flowing part of myself, before I bring in the logical, rational, focussed, objective side.

For so many years I lived predominantly in my masculine, in a constant whir of busyness and doing. Not allowing myself to connect within, to my intuition. Heck – I didn’t even think I had any intuition. I was so focused on everything that was going on in my head, that I was totally disconnected from the rest of my body, heart and soul. There were nagging tugs, but I would push them aside with logic and rationale.

I also used to make decisions completely through my logical, rationale, structured side; and this was reinforced through what I studied and the work I did. Now I see the benefit of slowing down, nurturing the softer side of myself, and connecting to how I feel first… so that when I move into structure, planning and action there is a strong foundation upon which to move forward.

If we don’t consciously create time to nurture this feminine side, we can end up in an endless flow of activity, busyness and action and creating from a place of reactivity rather than openness and abundance. When I allow myself to nurture and connect to my feminine essence first, then there is so much more flow and ease in my day. I feel like I am moving forward feeling grounded and with a deeper understanding of what I truly want to happen.

When we are leaning too far in the opposite direction it can be harder to slow down and soften, and it often just doesn’t happen. Instead we can end up just crashing at the end of the day exhausted, tired, and wornout. Feeding the feminine first, is a practice of prioritising our intuitive, free flowing side… as otherwise it can just get lost in the whirlwind of our days.

For me ‘feeding the feminine’, isn’t necessarily about ‘self-care’ in a sense of spa days and massages (though those are pretty nice!). Instead it is slowing down, connecting to your intuitive side, and tuning into what would feel nurturing and supportive. Treating your body with gentleness and kindness, and feeling into what it needs.

What I find really supportive is:

Creating quiet, sacred time and space in the morning

Carving out a short amount of time for me, even just 10-15 minutes helps set a different tone for the day. I light a candle to set the space, and then do a short grounding meditation to bring myself present and quieten the mind.

If I feel like my mind is super busy and feeling really overloaded then I will do Morning Pages, which is a free flowing stream of consciousness writing, where you don’t take the pen off the page and just let everything out. It is good to have a cheap exercise book for this, so you are just happy to let the words out and not worry about what it looks like.

Then I mix and match what feels good – like doing a longer guided meditation, asking a question and picking an oracle card to tune into my intuition, journaling or reading from a book which feels nourishing and uplifting (like The Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche).

I am definitely NOT a morning person, so this does not involve me getting up at a crazy time, or trying to fit in loads of things ‘before the day starts’. This is simply when I wake up (around 7-ish), and I adjust my activities depending on when I wake up vs when the rest of the family does. This is starting the day for me in the right way. I have also crafted this time and space after kindy dropoff, when mornings didn’t flow as easily, I was tired, or I was needing more space and time for me before I dove into the rest of the day.

Treating myself like a goddess

To be honest this is still a huge growth area for me, particularly right now where it is easy to stay in pyjamas all day during lockdown…. but the practice is powerful to connect into.

For me this includes dressing myself in clothes which feel gorgeous against the skin, having a bath with candles and soft music, using beautiful products that nourish my skin and spirit that I put on with love, care and attention (particularly massaging my body and breasts and appreciating their beauty), eating foods which bring me energy and vitality, and having jewellery that envokes power and beauty for me when I wear them.

What helps you to feel like a goddess?

Flowing movement

Moving my body in a way that feels nurturing and flowing.

It is not about moving for exercise, or to shape my body in a certain way, but to just allow my body to stretch and move and flow where it feels good.

The Qoya foundational pillar of circling is a practice I come back to again and again, as it feels so good in my body. Rochelle Scheick the founder of Qoya shares a circling video here, and a couple of my favourite circling songs are Existence by Mother Medicine and I am Light by India Arie.

Do any of these practices call to you?

When you connect to that feminine side of yourself (which may be a small whisper trying to get your attention or loud and clear message) what does it need?

I would love to hear how you get on!